This morning I’m in the sunroom, surrounded by windows and watching December stir. The ground is covered in a veil of snow and there is a lingering fog through the trees. It just might flurry again and I am wondering just how many gingerbread men can be eaten this early in the morning. Reflecting on the year feels like if I were to strap on my boots and run into the foggy field full speed, I could keep going and going and going until I couldn’t feel my toes or until I was knee-deep in the creek that sat on the other side of the field. These yearly posts are my pause, the reflection time for myself- she who still believes 2001 wasn’t that long ago. I love to highlight my favorite images, some fun adventures and what the year meant to me. The older I get the shorter the year seems to be! Isn’t that what they always say? I felt like I was just writing a post for the new year and how can Christmas music be playing? The reality is Christmas is next week and it’s crept up on me without me even realizing it. Then it’ll be that weird haze until the new year and January will be here. 2019 has been another quick year filled with so many memories, looking back at it all turns me into the most nostalgic soul but awakes another part of me that is already sprinting towards the year 2020. As long as things are shifting and changing, I know my life is in the right direction.
Top Five Images of 2019:
Each year I pull five of my most popular images that were taken throughout the year! This was either from immense support on social media, attention during exhibitions and just plain ol’ personal favorites. Each photograph I take has a whole day behind it, one full of adventure and plenty of outrageous moments. The end product is always serious, so I enjoy giving a little backstory to their creation!
Sea of Wonder
I can’t remember how many times I told my sister that I wanted to photograph Ayda! She has a mystical look about her, even though she is open and friendly in nature. That was a few years ago, while she was my stylist and pretty much the greatest one I have ever been to. Her talent, attention to detail and warmth was something I always looked forward to besides new hair! She is such an easy going, kind, inspiring kind of person. I loved to talk to her, I think I could talk to her all day if I could (if I didn’t nearly fall asleep after getting my hair washed)! After a good long while Ayda took to traveling (@ayda_june) and became a creator herself around the world. We finally got to collaborate this year together! During the summer at my favorite flower farm in Purcellville, Field of Flowers. There were so many flowers blooming and we spent the entire morning shooting together. I could thrive forever collaborating with others. We’re both on the same creative foundation but see the world so differently. She sees a scene in an entirely different way than I do and it was fun just taking turns and witnessing the completely different outcomes. There was something about the deep purple of the dress, the white flowers and Ayda that whisked me away to some kind of Wonderland. If I ever did paint, I would paint scenes like this!
2. Between Two Worlds
In college, I spent a lot of time on this river. For assignments or to kill time between classes, my friend Sarah and I would wander here to create. There was a bamboo forest to the right, an old wall that grew ferns and a path along side the mountain that followed the river. I would pick up metal to use for a project or would harvest the moss that hung so happily from the rocks there. During the summer it’s my favorite place to swim, the water is cool and I feel at peace. This image is a reflection of me, even though it is of the lovely Hannah! It’s about my relationship with water and how I feel almost bound to it. When the days were rough, I found myself making the small drive, taking a swim across to the other bank and back. I would feel like myself again, river monster and all. Butterflies swarm by the dozens in midsummer, seeking out the mud on the banks that are packed with nutrients. Liz and I kayak here often and there is nothing more magical than paddling through a cloud of giant butterflies. Sweet soul Hannah was kind enough to lay on river rocks and not care too much about the curious people on the boat ramp. Then again, a large part of Shepherd is the arts so they shouldn’t have been so surprised to see that kind of shenanigans. She also scaled trees, made her OWN CROWN and is always oh so willing to jump head first into an adventure. I love her so.
3. Moon & Muse
This year I found myself frequenting the most beautiful Airbnb in Purcellville, Virginia called Ballenger Farm (theballengerfarm). Within minutes of arriving at this stone house, I asked Liz if she could please adopt me so I could live in such a wonderful place. Ducks were floating in the back pond, the windows were grand enough to read in like they do in Pride and Prejudice. Large koi fish were dancing under the big lily pads, the rooster Elvis was strutting his stuff and one could wander in the pine forest all morning. Meeting Liz (the property manager), a golden beam of a human being was a lovely lovely experience. I spent a Vv retreat there with the team, a few photo-shoots for Virginia Dare and I loved every moment of it.
This was the first time I was able to photograph something for myself at the farm, instead of working on projects for others. During our team retreat, a few of us ran around in bare feet on those aged wooden floors and created. I remember being shoulder to shoulder with Gabby and taking this shot, screeching through my teeth in joy. I was glad to have packed a bag with a moon lamp, a few dresses, and candlesticks just incase I wanted to shoot before dinner. For a while it was fun just to lay the dresses out, everyone trying on their own. I think secretly everyone wishes for a chance to play dress-up again in their 20’s. There was something about being in that old house in a gown that took me back in time, Maddie played La Valse d'Améli on the grand piano and the wood stove kept everyone as warm as they could be. Oh I just love this place!
4. The Snow Angel
The first image I took this year was a self portrait. It was that perfect kind of snow, the fluffy flakes that made everything look like Narnia. My hair was three days greasy and I begged, I BEGGED my sister to go out in the falling snow and let me photograph her. I knew I could shoot her in five minutes, rather than myself in thirty. After bickering as sisters do, Jill knew how to maneuver my photographer charm, granted it has been 9 years of me making her roll around in the cold. So I wrapped my camera in a grocery bag, propped it just at the backdoor, set up the tripod and danced around the backyard until my fingers were too numb to click the trigger. I love having a good laugh about images that are taken in odd places. In the daylight, this backyard looks very different. The stacks of flower pots, the tractor, fences, and whatnot are no longer there. Everything is covered by snow and shadows, and a normal backyard looks like a far off land. That has been another goal of the year, seeing places as what they could be rather than what they are. You don’t have to be someplace special to create, it could be a flower bush on the side of the road, or your own backyard. You just have to bee watching and wondering.
5. Lady of the Ferns
For most of this year, I have been studying an artist group called the pre-raphaelites. It was a group suggested to me by a stern man who was critiquing my work back in college during finals. I am so thankful for that man, as grouchy and sharp as he was. Painters are so intentional, with every hand position and symbol that’s placed throughout a painting. I’ve always wanted to approach my images like that. This was the first time I felt like I caught that painterly aesthetic that I love so much. Maddie and I took a small road trip to one of my favorite places on earth. Where the mountain opens up and collapses into a large waterfall that belongs in Middle Earth. It was no easy feat getting there, bags of dresses in backpacks and a full descent down a group of rocks wet from the mist of the falls. But once we got down there, even with bones screaming, I was in awe. It is one of those sights that make you feel tiny, a sight that seems too magical to be real. There in the midst of a grand waterfall, I was captivated by this little cove of ferns and the way Maddie seemed to be caught in a fleeting moment.
Group Shoot of 2019: The Dyrads
Sisters of the trees, daughters of light. Goddesses of the forest and all who dwell there.
The Dryads was a shoot that has an entire BTS blog dedicated to it. If you want to read more in-depth you can hop to my past blog post and see plenty of behind the scenes. Group shoots are always a great excuse to get some of my favorite people together and spend the day laughing and shooting. Because it was a rather last second shoot, I was happy to get at least a few women together for the adventure! There was Hannah (@hannabotancials) and Eliza (@mamarugula) who both work with me on the Verity Varee team. It was my very first time photographing Eliza! Kelsey (@kelseymoneal93) and I went to high school and college together, she’s been helping me in all different kinds of ways when I need her! Julia (@juliacareywill) and I are kindred fangirls who met in community college and just had gotten married in the most beautiful mountains. This was such a healing day, one that brought my spirit back and that I’ll remember for all my days.
New Face of 2019:
Maddie Long
Now if we’re getting technical, Maddie isn’t exactly a ‘new’ face. If you scoot on back a few years ago I shot some images of her at Virginia’s arboretum. But this year we’ve reconnected and we became good jolly friends who right letters. She suddenly became one of my muses and I think I could photograph her for the rest of my days. Maddie has such a calming spirit about her that is also adventurous! She drove with me nearly six hours to spend the day at a waterfall, which was no easy task to get to and listened to me talk the entire way there. Her magic hair and bright eyes always reminded me of a forest-carrot nymph and I feel like I’m always telling others she isn’t real person. She’s a wise wise, wonderful creative human who writes the truth in beautiful ways.
The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (2019) Louis Leterrier. | Bright Star (2009) Jane Campion | La Belle et la Bête (2014) Christophe Gans.
These three did wonders for my inspiration this year. Movies or shows have such an impact on me because their story telling, their visual beauty and the way they use music to tie everything all together. I tried to justify putting the Mandalorian or the Rise of Skywalker but it doesn’t fit in with my fairytale aesthetics.
Client of 2019
Rorie
While I hardly took clients this year, there were a few that were close to my heart. My dear friend Julia got married in the mountains of Massanutten, I had a few senior portraits and beautiful events. Then in the Summer, I received and email from a musician with a strong heart who had followed my work for some time. She trusted me with the visuals for her music, I mean can you say honored? She gave me a quote that was the heart of her album and we went back and forth building ideas but this amazing soul gave me creative freedom. She didn’t freak out when we met at a rather sketchy looking little building, or complained about getting in a large creek with jaggy rocks. It really filled my creative bucket up, I felt SO excited, so inspired and loved this idea of working hand and hand with another artist. It made me want to more with musicians, to branch out in ways I’ve never thought about before. We tried so many things, and it all came together in such a way. A few months later I was holding a vinyl and a CD sent through the mail, the image she had chosen for ‘The Valley in the Mirror’ was one we did on a whim. I remember standing ankle deep in water going on about how I like to try it all, even if it fails. When the smoke bomb lit, it didn’t go the direction I wanted it to go but we pressed on. I shot a few shots and then we went into the water. I get a good giggle that, that was the image that captured the whole essence. If you want to follow along with her music, you can find her at @Roriemusic. She’s seriously wonderful.
This whole year I became a nanny again after a long break. These little beans are such a large part of my life, it’s only second nature to include them in a post like this. As grueling as 4am mornings are, I love being a nanny. There is something mischievous and magical about children. They squeak with joy when they find an acorn outside on the walkway. They swear with all their hearts fairies are real and draw them pictures for the windows. They chase the rainbows the window casts from the sun and ask odd questions. They believe so much with everything in their little bodies, and see the world in a way that’s really refreshing. Everyone always wonders how I get along with them so well. It doesn’t matter where I go, or who I’m with- the children usually gather. I think the secret is listening, engaging and treating them like real people. Truthfully, I would rather spend my time listening to a story about a magic tiger or trying to peek through closed flowers in search of sleeping fairies. Children don’t make me forget that I’m an adult, they reawaken the child that’s been quieted down by the years of life. The one that wants to run through the foggy field for no reason, or wonders what it would be like to really be a mermaid. During the summer we take adventures to find photo locations or make up stories about what kind of magical thing we would be. It is constant imagination, like it can’t be shut off. And to be that is a wonderful job, even the not so magical parts.
Casper:
Towards the end of 2019, my cat Casper died. It was sudden and unexpected and left a mark on me deeper than I would have ever imagined. For people with pets, you might understand the kind of pain that would bring. If I’m being honest, I have lost pets many times before and I was sad but like on every farm or mountain life goes on. But this time it didn’t. I would call myself a friendly person, but definitely not a vulnerable person. So it is something hard for me to even write about. That white little forest guardian was a huge part of my work. Every. single. time. I tried to take a self portrait in the woods, my cats would follow me. There are three of them and the two gray ones only would last so long. But Casper, oh Casper. He had to be with me from the very start to end. It wouldn't be much of an issue if he wasn’t as white as snow. So every photo bomb was blatantly obvious. His favorite past time was chasing the trains of my dresses. He would try to grab them when I was running for an image or smell a smoke bomb that had already gone off before rolling it around. I’ve never had that kind of bond with an animal before. He was my shadow, my little familiar that followed me just about anywhere. When something is there and always there, it’s hard to not be reminded. When I walk up to the garden, a little flash of white catches my eye. When its time to eat, I put out three dishes of food. When I close the closet I check the dresser drawers to make sure I don’t see ears. To have animals, it is a pain sometimes. I know I’ve yelled Casper’s name so many times my almost two year old nephew copies the same tone. But it made me realize how these parts of our lives aren’t just sectioned off, they are intersect with one another so strongly. Bonds are important, regardless with what. And if we allow ourselves to be open to them, they can improve our lives. I call him the Jesus cat because at the time, he adopted us out of the forest, without rhyme or reason. But now, I understand how God used a little white cat to shape a heart.
I’m looking to 2020 with the word ‘balance’ in mind. I might of come up with that word because I’ve been watching a lot of Star Wars recently but it really describes this new chapter in my life. Balancing work, dreams, friends, goals and life all on the same level. Keeping one from coming too much of my life and trying to equally invest in each. I guarantee I won’t master it, but I will try, move and acknowledge.
Goals for the year 2020:
Finish the dress room downstairs
-I have already spent a good amount of time gutting the downstairs room, sticking a ceiling on and working on finishing the room with my dad! It’ll be nice to have an area where my dresses essentially live and where I can be organized!
2. Begin selling vintage dresses/treasures
-The loft of my house is already full of vintage clothing to sell. In my travels and adventures I collected pieces that don’t necessarily work for my work but were too beautiful to be left behind. I’m planning on beginning a little ‘LaRue’ store once I sort the details out.
3. Build greenhouse/studio
- I’d love to have a place to host artist dinners, a place to make magical and call my studio. It has taken me so long to figure out exactly what I want and I think this is the year I’ll be able to finally build!
The silly part is I’ve either started, or I’m halfway through these new years resolutions already. But I hope by next year, I’ll complete them fully!
Thank you all for being apart of this journey with me!
Love,
